1 00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:02,403 . 2 00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:03,204 - So, Bo, what makes you interested 3 00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:06,207 in a career at Cloud 9? 4 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,208 - Money. 5 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,310 - Oh, sure, sure--money. 6 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,079 - We've got the baby, and, you know, 7 00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:14,282 we're saving up for a wedding, and it's really expensive. 8 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:16,584 Our theme is "Sick as Hell." - Oh. 9 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,452 - Or maybe it's gonna be "Dope as Ass." 10 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,054 We're still kinda deciding on that, 11 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,589 you know what I'm saying? But together. 12 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:22,890 - Aww. Okay, well, 13 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:25,526 why don't you tell me a little bit about your work experience? 14 00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,561 On your application, you said, uh, 15 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,830 "DJ, player's player," 16 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,533 and you drew a picture of a skateboard. 17 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,335 - Yeah, that's my tag. It's what up. 18 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,837 - Bo doesn't have a lot of work experience, 19 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,340 but he's a great dad... - Yeah. 20 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,142 - And he's good with people. 21 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,544 - Yo, and I roll the fattest Js, so... 22 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:47,315 - Okay, uh, where do you see yourself in the future? 23 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:48,816 - Future--okay. So for real, 24 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,518 I've given this actually, like, a lot of thought. 25 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,220 It's like, there's no government, 26 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,288 there's no laws, and I'm the head of, like, 27 00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:56,424 this roving murder gang kinda thing, 28 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,526 but my best friend is a robot. 29 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:03,664 - He means--where do you see yourself at Cloud 9? 30 00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,566 - Oh... yo, I'm not in this 31 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,168 for long term at all, you know what I'm saying? 32 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,836 I'm just here to make some paper, then bounce. 33 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,138 [laughs] Yo, but don't tell that 34 00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,473 to the bozos in charge of hiring. 35 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,143 - Um, Glenn is in charge of hiring. 36 00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:16,177 - Oh, cool, okay. 37 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,146 Yeah, I'm here for a long time, so... 38 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:21,149 [upbeat music] 39 00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:22,583 * 40 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:25,586 - Okay, let's give a warm first-day welcome 41 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,356 to our newest employee, Bo Thompson... 42 00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:30,191 - What's up? 43 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:33,461 - Who apparently wasn't filled in about the dress code. 44 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,663 - Why does his middle finger look so weird? 45 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,332 Oh, it's a penis. Ha, clever. 46 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:40,434 - Bo, maybe you should change. 47 00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:41,402 - Change into what? 48 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,137 Where am I supposed to find another shirt? 49 00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:44,538 - We work in a store. 50 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,140 - Okay, moving on. 51 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:49,477 Uh, today, we're gonna be spring cleaning, 52 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:52,313 which is gonna be buckets of fun. 53 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,583 - [chuckles] 54 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,318 What? That's--that was funny. 55 00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:58,252 - No, it wasn't. 56 00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:00,421 - Literally nobody laughed, except for you. 57 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,422 - It's barely even wordplay. 58 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,424 He just said buckets, and held up a bucket. 59 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,626 - It's called prop comedy, Dina. 60 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,727 - You're just kissing up to him, 61 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,362 'cause you're dating his daughter. 62 00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,364 - That's not true at all. In fact, just this morning, 63 00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:12,933 Kristen said she respects how much I don't kiss up. 64 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,936 - Where did you see Kristen this morning? 65 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,471 - Hm? 66 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:21,509 We, uh, met for breakfast. 67 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:25,246 - Wait, I'm confused, 'cause it's 6:30 right now. 68 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:27,715 So does that mean you got up and drove from your house, 69 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,517 and she got up and drove from her house 70 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,186 to meet for breakfast before 6:00 a.m.? 71 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,387 - That's what happened. 72 00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:37,258 - And what restaurant is open at, like, 4:00 in the morning? 73 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,393 - It was a gas station. 74 00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:41,362 - Gas station breakfast usually starts at 6:00. 75 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,531 Was this BP or Mobil? - Oh, I don't--I don't remember. 76 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,299 - Nah, fools, they're banging. 77 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:46,467 You know what I'm saying? - Oh. 78 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,935 - He's getting a little breakfast action. 79 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:48,936 Yeah. 80 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,304 [desk rattling] 81 00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,206 - * Let's go 82 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,274 - * Duke gonna get 'em 83 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,275 - * Go get 'em Duke 84 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,276 - * Duke gonna get 'em 85 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:56,310 - * Let's go 86 00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,645 * Get loose go ahead and do it * 87 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:58,646 * Hold up wait a minute 88 00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,947 * Let me get into it 89 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,682 * Get loose go ahead and do it * 90 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:02,683 * Hold up wait a minute 91 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,285 * Let me get into it 92 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:07,588 - Wow, someone just never picked up their photos. 93 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,557 What do we do? Do we just toss them? 94 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:12,293 - Uh, well, first, we look for any naked pictures, 95 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,428 and I will be doing that. 96 00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:16,397 Dressed, dressed... 97 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,998 - Hey, Glenn. - Dressed. 98 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,734 Landscape. Dressed. 99 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,970 - Do you feel good about how that just went? 100 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:23,837 - I don't get it. 101 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,639 Normally, my girlfriends' dads love me. 102 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,408 I still keep in touch with most of them. 103 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,710 I just took Naomi's dad to a train museum. 104 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:32,613 - Oh, here we go. Nope, that's just two peaches. 105 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:36,417 - Jonah, relax. Glenn likes you. 106 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,319 - Yeah, but he doesn't seemed jazzed, you know. 107 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,488 I want him-- I want him to be jazzed. 108 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,790 - Just stop trying so hard. 109 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,593 Eventually, he'll be-- I'm not gonna say jazzed. 110 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,261 He's--he's gonna be fine with it. 111 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,297 - Does that look like a piece of a butt to you guys? 112 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,031 - There's a lot of butts on the Internet. 113 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,366 Have you tried looking there? 114 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,602 - It's too easy. I like the hunt. 115 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,737 - You just scan the barcode, 116 00:03:56,770 --> 00:04:00,341 and it shows you how many units we have in inventory. 117 00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:04,345 - Ha! Oh, yo, Cheyenne to the boneyard immediately STAT. 118 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,279 Ha-ha, yeah. - Charming. 119 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:06,747 Can we just get back to the scanning, though? 120 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,016 - Oh, I'll get back to it. Boom! Headshot. 121 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,484 - Stop! - One shot, one kill. 122 00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:11,752 - Would you-- - Pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew. 123 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,053 - Do you wanna learn this stuff or not? 124 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,022 - What, this? Psh, not really--no. 125 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:16,824 I'm just here to make a quick 5 Gs, and then bounce, 126 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,492 you know what I'm saying? How long is it gonna take? 127 00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:19,827 Like a week, or something? 128 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,763 - [laughs] 129 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,465 - Ha... 130 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,434 All right, what's so funny? What, somebody fart? 131 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,569 - Oh. Hey, Myrtle. 132 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,638 You've been here for 30 years? - Yep. 133 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,340 - Okay, how much money have you saved? 134 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,841 - Almost $900. 135 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:37,378 I'm almost ready to head on out to California. 136 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,380 [quirky music] 137 00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,849 - I feel like I know this girl. 138 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,452 Or maybe she worked here. 139 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,320 - Oh, yeah, she does look familiar. 140 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:49,757 I was just focused on the neck down before, so... 141 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,393 - Hey, Tate, do you recognize this girl? 142 00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:54,662 Like, maybe she worked here in the last ten years or something. 143 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,596 - Hm. 144 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,465 Oh, yeah, was the the one on fluoxetine? 145 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,466 No. [snaps] 146 00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,467 That was Carol. 147 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,402 Oh, maybe lithium. 148 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:02,803 No. [laughs] 149 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,004 No, that was also Carol. 150 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,840 Yeah, Carol is what we in the medical profession call a... 151 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:09,410 [blubbers] Cuckoo. 152 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,812 - You can just say no. - Yeah, no, I don't know her. 153 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,647 Ooh, hey, let me know when you need, uh, 154 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:16,083 refills on that skin stuff. 155 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:19,687 - Um, no--you were thinking of Carol. 156 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,423 He's thinking of Carol. - Mm. 157 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,458 - You can't give up on your first day. 158 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:26,694 Just give it a little bit more time, okay? 159 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,462 - It's like--how are they gonna pay us so little 160 00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,130 for all this work we're doing, huh? 161 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,466 - Cheyenne, I have your change. 162 00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,704 Great. 163 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:39,473 $100, $200, $300, $400... [laughs] 164 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:40,841 Keep on spending, sheep. 165 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,545 $500, $600, $700, $800... 166 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:45,846 - Hey, Glenn. - Oh. 167 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,748 - Brought you a cup of joe. 168 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,550 Coffee--cup of joe. 169 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,818 You've never heard that expression before? 170 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,421 - No, why wouldn't you just say coffee? 171 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:57,425 - I don't know. Uh, it's more fun? 172 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,859 - Oh--oh, okay. 173 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,728 - Yeah. - Yeah. 174 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,663 Oh, it's black. - Oh, yeah, sorry. 175 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,931 I didn't know how you took it. 176 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:06,600 - It's fine, it's fine. 177 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:09,470 Yeah, it's fine. 178 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,805 - So, what's going on? What's up? 179 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,907 - Um--uh, nothing. 180 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,776 Well, I was just about to eat lunch. 181 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,579 - Oh, no kidding, I was just about to eat my lunch too 182 00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,948 at, uh, 10:30. 183 00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,851 How 'bout we, uh--how about we eat together, you know? 184 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,886 - You wanna eat lunch with me? - Yeah! 185 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,755 Yeah, it'll give us a chance to talk, you know, 186 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,623 get to know each other. It'll be fun. 187 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:31,425 - Okay. 188 00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:33,927 Let me--let me just finish this coffee. 189 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:36,464 [clears throat] 190 00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,766 - You know, you don't have to finish that. 191 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:39,733 - No, I love it. 192 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:42,770 - If--if you don't, it's not gonna offend me. 193 00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:47,841 . 194 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:48,075 - Um... 195 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,079 I'll have a hot dog. 196 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,981 - Sorry, we don't have hot dogs. 197 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,483 - Cheeseburger then. 198 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,651 - We only really serve Mexican food. 199 00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,620 - One Mexican cheeseburger. 200 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:03,056 - We'll have two beef quesadillas, please. 201 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,692 - You got it. 202 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,660 - Quesadilla? - Mm-hmm. 203 00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,529 - Quesadilla. 204 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,098 It's colorful in here. 205 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,065 - [laughs] Yeah. 206 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:15,068 - This is fun. Why haven't we done this before? 207 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,505 - You know what, I don't know. It's--it's really nice 208 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:20,007 to get to know each other outside of work. 209 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,975 - Exactly. 210 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,978 Ask me anything. - Uh, okay. 211 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,547 Where were you born? 212 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:27,548 - Kansas City. 213 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:28,549 - Oh. 214 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:32,019 - Do Jewish people like snow? 215 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,187 - Um...some of us. 216 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,155 - Wow. - Yeah. 217 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,925 - Your turn. - Uh, do you have any siblings? 218 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,528 - Oh, what a strange question. 219 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:43,096 Um, yeah, four. 220 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:47,034 Uh, what's the biggest dog you've ever seen, and why? 221 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:51,539 - Okay, try Veronica Harris. 222 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,774 She quit in 2011. 223 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,544 - Veronica Harris. 224 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,078 Oh, no, it's definitely not Veronica. 225 00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,514 - Oh, Veronica. 226 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:02,149 How is she doing? 227 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,216 - Prison. - What? 228 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,718 Another one went to prison? 229 00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:08,221 - Yeah, we're kind of a feeder. - Ugh, okay, um... 230 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:11,692 try Robin Sanders. 231 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,527 both: Ooh, no. 232 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:15,529 - Not Robin. Meth hit her hard. 233 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:17,965 - God, why do people do it? 234 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:21,101 - My guess--it feels incredible. 235 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,136 - Yo, let's say, like, someone, like, got in here 236 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,205 and took all that oxi, and, like, got out. 237 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,307 How do they, like, move that, you know what I'm saying? 238 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,242 - Easy, you just go to the nearest playground, 239 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,612 and just sell the whole stash to some rich moms. 240 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,581 Yeah, all that pressure to get their bods back 241 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:36,584 after pregnancy-- it's gotta go somewhere, huh? 242 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,252 [gobbles, mumbles] 243 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,555 My marriage is over. 244 00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:43,190 [both laugh] 245 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,225 They're deeply unhappy. - Bo, um... 246 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:48,328 you're not assigned to pharmacy. What are you doing here? 247 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,097 - Oh, no reason. I'm just hanging with my boy. 248 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,065 - Okay, 'cause it's a really good thing 249 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,701 that you have this job, 250 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,236 and I wouldn't want you to mess it up. 251 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,171 - No, don't worry, baby, all right? 252 00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,340 Yo, thanks for the info, Dr. S. - No problem. 253 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,341 Uh... [clears throat] 254 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,209 Real talk for a sec? 255 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:06,013 - Yeah. - I'm jealous of your mustache. 256 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,616 - Blesses and riches. 257 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,618 - This was fun. - I know, right? 258 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,119 I-I'm so glad we did this. 259 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,754 - Me too. - Dessert? 260 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:19,292 - Uh, do you have a Mexican version of a churro? 261 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,629 - Um, I think we can put something together for you. 262 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,562 - You know what, actually, uh, 263 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,164 I-I think we should probably head back. 264 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,266 My break just ended five minutes ago. 265 00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:27,067 - Oh. - Yeah. 266 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,203 - Well, why don't we call the boss? 267 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,805 Hello, Glenn, it's Glenn. 268 00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:33,741 Can Jonah have an extra long lunch? 269 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,643 What, he can? That's great. 270 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,778 You're the best. Bye. 271 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,380 I'm Glenn--same Glenn. I mean, I'm both Glenns. 272 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,314 - Oh, okay. 273 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,884 - Yeah, you know, Glenn, I-I appreciate it, 274 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,620 but if--if you make an exception for me, 275 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,188 and then the other associates notice, 276 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,657 they're probably gonna get jealous, 277 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,125 and it'll get weird, so... 278 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,627 - I didn't think of it like that. 279 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:54,795 - I know. If I could, 280 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,096 I would hang out all day, 281 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,131 but, you know, life. 282 00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,133 - Yeah, life. 283 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,268 I'll get the check. - All right. 284 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:05,605 - Excuse me, sir, do you take American dollars here? 285 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,209 - Well, this has escalated. 286 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,311 - I-I just feel like there's gotta be something 287 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,713 that tells us who she is, 288 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:15,215 like a stack of mail with an address on it, 289 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,085 or--or--or--or like a-- a car with a license plate, 290 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,252 and we can run the plate. 291 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,888 - Okay, explain to me the process 292 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:23,156 by which we would run a plate. 293 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:26,660 - We would call someone on the force. 294 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:27,761 - The force? 295 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,429 - Yes, that is what people call it. 296 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:33,266 - Look, I am all for wasting time on useless activities, 297 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,869 but this is entering Carol territory. 298 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,705 - Look at that kitchen, Garrett. 299 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:40,140 That's like a-- a million dollar kitchen. 300 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,142 Aren't you the least bit curious 301 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,244 about how someone who used to work here 302 00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,179 ended up in a house like that? 303 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,748 - Is that a solid oak table? 304 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,382 - Looks like a solid oak table. 305 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:53,153 - And a French press. - That is a French press. 306 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,155 Do you know how much disposable time you need 307 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:58,325 to make French press coffee? Too much. 308 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,828 - We're gonna need to make these a lot bigger. 309 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:01,962 - Yes. 310 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,965 [seedy music] 311 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,734 * 312 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,401 - Hey, no one's allowed in here. 313 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:11,138 - Yeah, I got--I got lost and stuff, so... 314 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,406 Oh, hey, this is, like, real badass, you know. 315 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,776 This is like CTU headquarters or something. 316 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,410 You're like Jack Bauer, you know what I'm saying? 317 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,345 - [laughs] I don't know that 318 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:21,448 I could actually do everything that he-- 319 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,884 You know what? No. Accept the compliment. 320 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:24,718 Thank you. 321 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:25,919 - Yeah, you got a tough job, for real. 322 00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:28,421 You know, there's, like, a lot of dangerous people out there. 323 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,158 You got gang bangers running around, Slender Man. 324 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,760 Whoa, oh, where is he? You know what I'm saying? 325 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:33,560 Oh, ISISes. 326 00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,428 - I worry about ISIS all the time. 327 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,765 You know, people spend so much time watching the coasts. 328 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,399 You know where they're gonna strike first? 329 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,468 Right here in the heartland. 330 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,303 - Yeah, what's up, truth? 331 00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:44,437 So I'm, like, thinking, like, 332 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,940 I wanna learn about all this, you know what I'm saying? 333 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,842 You know, like, the cameras and the locks 334 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,443 and the alarms and all that. 335 00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,880 - Fellow security buff, huh? - Yeah. 336 00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,347 - Ha, who knew? Here I thought 337 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,283 you were nothing more than a worthless dirt bag. 338 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,986 - Nah, I contain multitudes, yo. 339 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,988 - Hey, you wanted to see me? 340 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,956 - I just talked to corporate, and they said 341 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,425 as long as I don't give you a raise of any kind, 342 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,527 I can make you my assistant. 343 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,831 Now we get to hang out all day. 344 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,004 . 345 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:20,941 - 11 Mississippi, 12 Mississippi, 13. 346 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,978 Uh, he says to count to 13. 347 00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:27,380 He likes it more as a slurry. 348 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:30,884 - So as his assistant, do you have to wear the tie? 349 00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,853 - Uh, no. 350 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:33,921 He--he said it--it-- 351 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:37,958 it makes it easier for the two of us to play pranks. 352 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:41,528 - Well, on the bright side, he's now good and jazzed, yeah? 353 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:42,996 - Yeah, yeah. 354 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,932 - I just love the tie. 355 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,334 It makes me so happy. - Glad to hear that. 356 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,003 - So are you his assistant now forever? 357 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,504 - No, no--no--no, just, like, 358 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:54,041 until Kristen and I break up. 359 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,876 - But what happens if you guys get married? 360 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,445 - Oh, well, then-- well, then, uh... 361 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,981 I guess until Glenn dies. 362 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:02,883 - The tie just makes me so happy, man. 363 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:06,586 I mean, it's like you're a little, tiny businessman. 364 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,488 - Only about half the cameras work. 365 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,622 The rest are just deterrents. 366 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,359 But the thieves don't know where the blind spots are. 367 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,094 - Oh, he's totally packing, right? 368 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:17,097 - Oh, no, no, Reggie can't hold an actual weapon. 369 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,432 And as a matter of fact, between you and I, 370 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,869 he's almost completely blind. 371 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,537 - What do you think is going on over there? 372 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,373 - I don't know. 373 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,141 Whoo! God... 374 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,610 why is that so satisfying? [laughs] 375 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,145 [sighs] 376 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,583 - [clears throat] - We're probably gonna have 377 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:39,352 a lot of inside jokes, aren't we? 378 00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,021 - Yeah. - Yeah. 379 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,456 What do you think our first one should be? 380 00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:47,094 - I'm gonna go to the men's room. 381 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,129 - Me too! Look at this. 382 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,365 Our cycles are synching up already. 383 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,102 - Okay, that tree outside the window-- 384 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,103 it's a sycamore tree. 385 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,105 - Great, now all we need to know 386 00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,073 is where sycamore trees grow. 387 00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:01,008 - Okay, sycamores-- 388 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,509 they grow in the Southern parts of Missouri. 389 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:03,911 - Missouri. 390 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,146 - Large swaths of the Eastern Seaboard. 391 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,482 There's no sycamores on the West Coast. 392 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,584 - Okay... - Except for Washington state. 393 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:14,988 And there's a large group of them in Australia. 394 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,990 - We got nothing. 395 00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:20,393 I don't get it. Where do we know her from? 396 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,163 - Which one goes where? - I don't know. 397 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,932 I couldn't find the reference photos. 398 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,134 - Did you check up your butt? 399 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,069 - No. 400 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,503 - [clears throat] 401 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,571 [paper sinks] 402 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,942 - You going yet? - No, still not yet. 403 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,010 - Oh. - You know, I-- 404 00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,212 I-I could probably meet you back in the office. 405 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:42,049 - Oh, I don't mind. 406 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,650 Hey, what do you think about 407 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:46,519 going to a baseball game with me this weekend? 408 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,088 - Yeah, that--I'd love that. - Yeah? 409 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,689 - Yeah. Of course, you know, 410 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,591 the other employees might think 411 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,460 that you're playing favorites, so... 412 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,528 - We don't have to tell them. 413 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,531 - Right, but then it gets, you know, even weirder, 414 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,067 because it's like-- now we're lying, 415 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,235 so it'd be--it'd be a whole thing, trust me. 416 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,171 - Yeah, you're probably right. 417 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,706 [sighs] 418 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,141 Boy, when you finally go, 419 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,676 it's really gonna be something, isn't it? 420 00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,444 - [sighs] Yeah. 421 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,114 - Hey, Dina. 422 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,682 How are things going with Bo? 423 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,985 Uh, is he doing okay? 424 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,220 - Doing okay? He's a surv-head. 425 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,688 Sorry, surveillance head. 426 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,090 I forgot you weren't a surv-head. 427 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,992 - Oh. Okay. 428 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:29,229 Um, but is he, like, acting a little weird around you? 429 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,198 - You mean how he wants to have sex with me? 430 00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,133 - Uh... - Listen, relax, okay? 431 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,102 I'm not interested. Not enough body hair. 432 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,503 He looks like a newborn mouse. 433 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,705 - Oh...okay, good. 434 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,574 - You should really have a little more trust in your man. 435 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,243 - Yeah. 436 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,678 You're right. I should trust him. 437 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,247 Thanks. 438 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,051 - And listen, if he masturbates to me on his lunch break, 439 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,619 that's his business, okay? 440 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,054 It's not my fault. 441 00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,588 - Okay. 442 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,058 - So corporate sent me two tickets 443 00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,626 to this weekend's Cardinals game, 444 00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:03,663 so I'm gonna pick one employee to go with me... 445 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:04,797 completely at random. 446 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:08,668 So all your names are in here, and it's time to pick now. 447 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,038 - Is it Saturday or Sunday, 'cause I-I actually have-- 448 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,173 - It doesn't matter, Sandra. 449 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,142 - I'm cremating my dog. - Jonah! 450 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,144 - You didn't even read it. - I glanced at it. 451 00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,745 - I did not see you glance at it. 452 00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:21,748 - Congratulations, Jonah! Yeah! 453 00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:24,651 So, uh, if you, uh, see us on the jumbotron, 454 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,186 this is how that happened. 455 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,554 - You know what, I'm worried about traffic. 456 00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,222 Maybe you guys should head down there early, 457 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:30,623 and make a day out of it. - Yeah. 458 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,891 - That's a great idea. 459 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:36,296 - Uh, yeah, you know what, uh, I am all booked up this weekend. 460 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,165 - Oh... 461 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:41,334 well, I didn't literally mean, like, this weekend. 462 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,270 I-I meant, like, um, 463 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:46,239 when this nearest weekend is over, then that weekend. 464 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:49,309 - Uh, oh, well, uh, this is frustrating. 465 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,311 I am booked up then too. 466 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,780 - I'll go. I love b-ball. 467 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,083 - Oh, yeah, that's what they call baseball. 468 00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,584 - No, nobody else is going. 469 00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,286 Jonah won, so Jonah's coming with me. 470 00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,054 - No, Glenn, I did-- I didn't win. 471 00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,122 I--somebody else should-- - No, you won. 472 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,790 - No, I didn't win--I clearly-- - Fair and square. 473 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,225 - But I can't do it, Glenn. - No, you-- 474 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,726 I'm sure you can move stuff around. 475 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,128 - I'm completely booked up, and then I can't. 476 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,362 I can't go. - Winners go, losers don't go. 477 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,164 - Glenn, I don't wanna hang out with you. 478 00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:15,068 - [exhales slowly] 479 00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:17,737 - All right, looks I'm in. 480 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:18,938 Oh, one condition, 481 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:23,343 uh, if I catch a foul ball, I'm not giving it to a kid. 482 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:25,678 - I respect that. 483 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:29,849 . 484 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:30,317 [quirky music] 485 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,153 [knocking] 486 00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:37,290 - Uh, Glenn, I just came by to-- to return this. 487 00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:40,360 - Eugene? - Thank you. 488 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,329 Ahem, Glen? - Thanks. 489 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:45,265 I'll put this on my new assistant. 490 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,134 - Hey, so, listen, 491 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,336 I'm sorry I lied about wanting to hang out. 492 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,571 - [laughs] Your breath is warm. 493 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:55,142 - Uh, hey, Eugene, could-- could we maybe have a minute? 494 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,577 - Of course. - Thanks. 495 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,613 Glen, I, uh... [sighs] 496 00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,815 I get that you felt weird 497 00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:04,551 about me dating Kristen, 498 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,752 and--I don't know--I guess I just thought 499 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,689 if we spent some time together, maybe I could win you over. 500 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,391 - I get it. 501 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,692 It's tricky. 502 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,827 I mean, you're dating my daughter, 503 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,264 and I'm a strong alpha. 504 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,831 - No, yeah, yeah, exactly. 505 00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:22,402 - But please, from now on, just be honest with me. 506 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,304 - Absolutely. You have my word. 507 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:25,538 - Okay. 508 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:29,876 Hey, did Kristen sleep over at your apartment last night? 509 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:35,382 - No, we met for breakfast at 4:00 a.m. at a gas station. 510 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,917 - Thanks, that's what I thought. 511 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:38,785 [laughs] 512 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,787 - Even if we never find out who she is, 513 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,722 isn't it nice to know that at least one person 514 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,357 who worked here didn't end up on drugs, 515 00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:47,194 or in prison, or fused to a couch? 516 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,195 - Mm, the future is bright. 517 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:51,664 - Yep, I can smell the French press coffee now. 518 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,266 - Eh, why wait? 519 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,801 Don't we sell one of those French presses 520 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:55,868 here in the store? 521 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,639 What? 522 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:02,842 - She's a Cloud 9 model. 523 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,677 - Yep. 524 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:07,614 You still want to pick up the French press? 525 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:08,881 - Nope. 526 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:11,884 - You know, I do think I have seen that woman naked, though. 527 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:14,654 - Yeah, you think you've seen everyone naked. 528 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,357 - I can't believe I doubted him. 529 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,193 I mean, he's the father of my child. 530 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:22,695 - Do you think this is chocolate sauce or blood? 531 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,231 - Chocolate. 532 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,832 I mean, maybe something's wrong with me. 533 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,900 Maybe I can't trust the people in my life, 534 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,769 because of my relationship with my dad. 535 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:32,171 - Um, Cheyenne... 536 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,808 - [grunts] - [sighs] 537 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:39,846 - Yep, it is blood. 538 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,916 - Whoa. Oh, hey, boo. 539 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,485 [chuckles] - I can't believe you. 540 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,420 - What? No, no, no, it's not what you think, okay? 541 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,289 I was just gonna hide out here until the store closes, 542 00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,690 and then I was gonna rob the place. 543 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,725 - That is what I thought you were doing! 544 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:55,462 - Wow, you know, I love how you know me so well. 545 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,830 - We could probably both get fired from you doing this. 546 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,400 Did you even realize how this would affect me? 547 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,001 - Yeah, I was doing this for you, okay? 548 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,803 So our wedding would be sick as hell. 549 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,339 It would have, like, peacocks and Flo Rida 550 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,007 and dope-ass peonies. 551 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,243 - I don't need all that. 552 00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,210 - Really? 553 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:12,879 - Let's just have a nice, simple wedding, 554 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,381 and then we save up our money, 555 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,016 we can spend it on something important, 556 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,753 like one of those Jacuzzis with the purple lights, 557 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:24,357 or those gold teeth that you've always wanted. 558 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:27,294 - Damn, girl, you're too good for me. 559 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,895 - Totally. 560 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:32,265 [poignant music] 561 00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:34,534 - Attention, y'all are bitch ass hoes. 562 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,535 I quit! 563 00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,307 I'm keeping the vest. - Oh, no, you're not. 564 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,441 - No, no, okay, hold on, hold on. 565 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:42,875 Just let--let me get if off! 566 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,944 Putting it down, boss. 567 00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,447 Oh! Just kidding! Suck it! 568 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,949 [imitates buzzer] Oh! 569 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,519 I quit. Did you hear that? 570 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:56,356 [phone rings] 571 00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,325 - Glenn Sturgis's office? 572 00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:00,793 Hi, Jeff, let me see if I can get him for you. 573 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,895 I have Jeff for you. - Thank you. 574 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,865 [beeps] 575 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:08,935 Hi, Jeff. - Hey, I have some bad news. 576 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,803 Uh, the headline is every branch 577 00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:13,440 is gonna have to lay off 10% of its workforce. 578 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:16,343 So...um... 579 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,445 - [whispers] Should I go tell everybody? 580 00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:19,779 - Glenn?